urbanconnections


09
Sep 2017
THE GAY SCENE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Is the gay scene a good or bad thing for gay men who want to find a partner? Surely it makes sense to frequent the places where most gay men hang out if you are looking to meet a boyfriend? There are so many dance clubs, leather bars and phone apps full of sexy single gay guys, so it would seem the possibilities for meeting a partner are endless!  In reality things are not so clear. Firstly, there are so many gay men ‘available’, especially in big cities, that many single guys who are......

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09
Sep 2017
MAKE DATING APPS WORK FOR YOU

When I wrote my book (Gay Dating, your guide to finding love) back in 2010, dating apps were really in their infancy, but today they are the main way that gay men meet (in this article I am refering to dating apps as a way to meet men to date, not to hook up). In our stress-filled, fast paced modern world you don’t need to visit a supermarket to get your weekly shop, you don’t need to visit a bank to do your banking: it can all be done via your smart......

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19
Jun 2017
DATING & THE TOP/ BOTTOM DEBATE

Many gay men identify with either a top or bottom role, which is fine; but, to what extent should a sexual position/role dominate chosing a potential partner? What if a bottom meets a sexy, intelligent, funny man who is compatible in every way, but it turns out he is also bottom. Is that a deal breaker straight away or can this be worked around? Most guys would probably not persue that relationship any further as sex is an important factor in a relationship (gay or straight) but could other options be explored?......

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19
Jun 2017
gay speed dating

A few months ago, I wrote an article about racism on the gay scene which caused quite a stir. I’m glad that many gay men questioned their attitudes (conscious or unconscious) towards gay men of colour. That awful phrase, which used to be so common online, ‘no fats/ no fems/ no asians’ has been outed as unacceptable. But I now want to examine the middle part of this line: no fems. Turn on Grindr and you will see phrases like ‘masculine for masculine/ I hate camp/ masculine men only‘. These are personal......

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08
May 2017
GAY REVOLUTION, NOT RACISM!

I call upon all gay men to start a revolution, but I don’t mean taking up arms and waving the rainbow flag in the face of straights down your high street. The revolution I want to start is among gay men themselves. I want to break the moulds which nobody really wants to talk about but which are holding our community back. I have been running gay dating events for longer than I care to remember and I quite regularly receive calls from prospective customers who want to attend but they are......

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